


Everyone Sneezes.

by ghettoassenglishman



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Army!Ian, First Meetings, Fluffy, Hospitals, M/M, Sick!Mickey, Sneezing, more sneezing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:11:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3441575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghettoassenglishman/pseuds/ghettoassenglishman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I sneeze like a dead, cancerous elephant and you tell me ways to stop sneezing AU</p><p>“When you feel the sneeze coming on blow your nose.” The kid handed him a packet of tissues, his face still forward towards the busy desk. Mickey looked down to the pile of tissues, was this kid actually serious? “It works, well It does for me.”</p><p>“What the fuck would you know?” Mickey grabbed one and held it before his face, awaiting a sneeze that was most likely going to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone Sneezes.

Mickey hated fucking colds. He hated winter all together, fuck that, he hated going outside _all together._ It was where people could touch, cough, sneeze and even start shit with you. Mickey was fucking tried and he wasn't in the right mood to show someone who the boss was. Mandy had broken her ankle trying to jump over a wall, they had been running from the cops and the wall was massive. Mickey, obviously, tackled it like it was anything. Mandy usually would but this time she was distracted and she'd crashed to the ground. So here he was, sitting in a shitty hopsital sneezing like an dead, cancerous elephant because of the old fucker that had done to the same thing to him.

 

It was a continuous routine;

 

Sneeze. Wipe eyes. Sneeze harder. Wipe eyes. Sneeze till it fucking hurts. Wipe eyes _again._ He was literally going to bail any second because this shit was way to much. His nose was on fire and all he needed was some takeout, beer and some good weed to knock him out. Anything to get rid of his deadly disease.

 

Just a second before he was going to leave Mandy and run off sneezing his way home, a voice drew him to a redhead in an army uniform. To no surprise the fucker had to be hot. Mickey would never would admit this, but Jesus the kid looked good in a uniform. All he wondered was how the hell a kid that age could get into the army and no fucker question it.

 

“When you feel the sneeze coming on blow your nose.” The kid handed him a packet of tissues, his face still forward towards the busy desk. Mickey looked down to the pile of tissues, was this kid actually serious? “It works, well It does for me.”

 

“What the fuck would you know?” Mickey grabbed one and held it before his face, awaiting a sneeze that was most likely going to come, trying to keep his eyes away from looking at the kids exposed neck.

 

“Everyone sneezes.” This time the redhead turned his head, eyes locking with Mickey's. It was all so quiet, and a little bit dazing, until Mickey's sneezing fit sprung up from the depths of hell and convulsed his whole body. As told to, he blew his nose into the tissue, it burned but it felt a little refreshing.

 

It all felt like freedom had taken its place, because Mickey hadn't realised what happiness was until he lost the will to breathe through a blocked nose. Then, again, another sneeze frenzied itself out of him. “Seems like your fucking super plan didn't work.” He tossed the tissue towards the kid, who sprung up and kicked it away from him.

 

“Least I fucking helped man, these people in here would have left you to sneeze all night, so count yourself grateful.” The kid sure did have a mouth, a mouth that would look great wrapped around hi- No, this was not happening. “I have another idea.” the redhead spoke up again, sitting himself down a seat closer to Mickey.

 

“Fuck off, its probably as shit as the last one.” Mickey grunted. “Who said I needed your fucking help anyway, beat it.” He tried to shoo him away but it was evident the kid wasn't going anywhere and was persistent to sit with him and annoy the fuck out of him.

 

The redhead smiled into his lap, “Right, pinch the bridge of your nose. Sometimes that helps.” Why the fuck was he giving tips to him anyway? Mickey pulled up his hands, reluctantly, and felt for his nose. The redhead shook his head and took it into his own hands. “Jesus, not that like tha- like this.”

 

Mickey, strangely, liked the soft touch of the kids hands. All his life he had felt rough hands all over him, hands that didn't touch for the sake of delicacy but to punch him in the throat or pin him against the wall. The kids fingers pinched at his nose, it was all getting too uncomfortable. “Jesus, fuck. I got it, I got it. I ain't a pussy.”

 

“Not a pussy. Got it.” The redhead gleamed, dropped his hands in surrender. A silence fled over them until, you could of guessed, two more fits of sneezes echoed through the waiting area. Mickey was getting even more frustrated, not only for the fact he had been sneezing non-stop for nearly two days, but the redheaded kid was watching him intensely, concern in his eyes.

 

“Fucking HELL!” Mickey screamed from his seat, a couple of heads turning in shock and horror. A little old lady had ran from her spot, it was typical behaviour when a Milkovich was in the room. The kid however, he hadn't budged an inch, not even flinching. “What the fuck you looking at?”

 

“You, obviously.” The kid bluntly answered, the lights in the room making his hair even brighter. “There is always one more thing.” He tilted his head to the heaving boy next to him, uniform slightly lifting at his waist and exposing some pale, white skin.

 

Mickey licked his lips, trying not to keep on track with the jacket that was slowly riding up the boys skin. “Pelt with with it, red.” He sneezed again, wiping his eyes as still didn't get an answer. “Well, fucking tell me then, ain't got all night.”

 

“People usually get rid of their sneezes when they get angry, but I guessed that ones fucked because you're angry _all_ time.”

 

Mickey straightened up a little, looking like the worlds worst thug now he had a red nose and a bunch of tissues in his lap. “I'm not fucking angry all the time, you're just the most irritating person I've ever met!” He chucked a couple of used tissues at him, firing them directly into the kids face.

 

“How about I buy you a drink?” The kid diverted it abruptly to a different subject, one in which Mickey was immediately not expecting because surely this guy wasn't gay.

 

“How about you shut up.” Mickey fired back, sneezing once more. “Why the hell would I get a drink with you, who you think I am?”

 

“I think you're a grumpy-motherfucker who needs to lighten up with a good ounce of-” The redhead pulled out a little bag of weed, the smell hitting Mickey like lavender and he immediately wanted to pounce on the kid with joy because he had been craving it ever since he'd stepped in the white, prison walls of the waiting room. “But you don't want to take my offer...so..might as well tuck this little man back in my jacket.”

 

“No fucking chance.” Mickey snatched the bag out of his hands and clasping it in his own palm.

 

The redhead's smile couldn't get any bigger. “So that's a yes, you wanna get a drink with me?”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes, obviously this kid would make this into a thing. “Fuck you is what I'm going to.” He bit his lip when the kid stared him down, like some sort of meat, literally he might eat the fucking weed in a minute. He broke the pause with another sneeze.

 

“I'll meet you at the albi at ten.” The redhead stood up, straightening his uniform and bent down to grab his bag, giving full eye candy to Mickey who hadn't yet moved his eyes away. Good. It was all too fast and somewhere he felt he should tell the kid to sit back down and talk to him more about getting rid of sneezing but then some curly headed fuck stepped in.

 

“Ian, you coming?” The guy eyed up Mickey, then back to Ian, probably already guessing what the situation was. He moved back when Mickey sneezed again, avoiding being in his personal space. So the kid was called Ian, nice to put a name to a pretty fucking hot face. And ass.

 

“Yeh, sure. Liam alright?”

 

“Yeh its just a chest infection or some shit. I knew Fi was just over reacting, lets roll gotta meet someone after this.” The curly haired boy eyed Mickey up, negatively, again and left through the doors.

 

The redhead pulled his bag over his shoulder then turned back to his mission. “Hey, I never caught your name?” His eyes were sparkling, Mickey was sure, and for some reason he wanted to have a drink with him there and now. The weed was still in his palm and he kinda felt guilty for taking it.

 

Smirking he answered, “Mickey.” Ian hummed and was nearly out of the door when Mickey called out to him. “Hey you forgot your shit!” he held up the bag of weed, making sure no fucker was ready to nab it off him and then shit would go down.

 

“Keep it.” Ian laughed, a sound Mickey actually found himself likely. “I ain't like we're not going to see eachother soon.” After his cheeky wink he left the room and left Mickey rethinking about how he could of missed that kid, how the fuck could he have dodged him for all these years? Oh great, another sneezing fit. _Pinch the bridge of your fucking nose you pussy._

 

All he did know was that a double Jacks was waiting for him at the bar aswell as a rather fucking attractive redhead that he wanted to fuck him into the wall.

 

 


End file.
